Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
