A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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