I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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