New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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