the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Houston, we have a squirter
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
