Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Bring me that man meat
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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