laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
