hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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