I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
