Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
