Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
