I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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