So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
