You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
