i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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