I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
