You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Are we still banned from the library?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Randomize
