she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
