Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
