How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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