I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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