So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
