One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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