i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Sorry about my life...
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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