Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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