i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
