I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
