How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
