Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
