we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
