WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
