I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
