he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
