After last night, I could never be a politician.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
