My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
