Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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