CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
