so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Randomize
