just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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