yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
At least make sure they are 18
Why
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
