She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Randomize
