Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
