I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
