so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
