glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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