If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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