Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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