I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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