Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
