the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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