This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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