"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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